Sunday, August 28, 2011

The Epic Saga

I truly have missed my calling in life; I should have been a car thief.  The ecstasy that comes with breaking into a car is very rewarding.  However, before you think me a criminal, I will explain.
It all started as a hunt for my French dictionary in the many boxes of books that are still in my trunk.  After finding said book, I closed the trunk and went to lock my car.  Epic slow motion palm hitting forehead.  My keys were still in the trunk.  I looked all over for them just in case they weren't in there, but alas, to no avail.  Now, to make matters worse, my room key was also now locked in the trunk, and I didn't have Viana's number on my phone yet.  I then decided that the best course of action would be to call the campus police and ask for their assistance.  Repeat that no phone number thing.  I then made my way to the closest open office (aka coffee shop) to find that number.  The nice police man was then able to meet me at my car, and after some paperwork and suspicious questions about what was growing in my terrariums, he got out his box of tools and went to work.  It only took about two minutes to get it open, but this is where the real saga started.  Firstly, you cannot release the backseat lever unless you have a key.  Secondly, you cannot release the trunk latch unless you have a key.  Am I the only one who thinks that this is bad car design?  The policeman eventually had to give up but promised to check back in and do a bit of research with the advice to call a locksmith.  By this time roughly 30min. had passed, and we were both very hot, very sweaty, and about to break out an ax and just rip the trunk open.  I then traipsed around the campus looking for Viana to let me into our room.  Yada yada yada, the locksmith I called quoted me $150 to replace the entire lock.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.  After a few minutes on The Googles, I found this unreputable looking site that suggested a flat-head screwdriver and some brute force.  Obviously, I decided to try this method.  As yall may remember, the trunk lever in the driver's floorboard has been broken since I got the car, but it provided the perfect spot to perfect my lock breaking skills.  Armed with a flat-head and a rather large hammer I proceeded to pull off the plastic covering, and pry out the entire lock mechanism that looks a bit like this one.

After a few bangs with the hammer and some fiddling around, I heard a subtle "clunk".  Excitement reigneth!  And thus my saga came to an end.  I am now a bit tired and still debating whether or not to go to Monte Carlo night for some legal gambling and loud music.  But lesson learned: when all else fails, hit it with a hammer.

xoxo

-Kate

3 comments:

Papa said...

Sweeeet! When I was a junior in high school, I inherited a faded blue sedan from my father. For the first several months I was always locking the key in the car for some reason. I could easily slide a bent coat hanger through the edge of the door and pull up on the door lock (which, interestingly enough, was big and round, shaped just about what one would hope for if he had just bent a coat hanger with designs of grasping the piece). Then I thought I was wise in tying the coat hanger to the undercarriage of the vehicle so I would always have a ready means of breaking into my own car. It was not until years later in telling this story to my children ("see young ones, you, too, can be wise if you plan ahead like I had"). But one of my waist-high progeny asked why I didn't tie a spare key instead of a "hoke-hanger" under the car. I think I was the one who quickly changed the subject to something about which I really did know something.

Papa said...

Thank you for sharing your stories. So entertaining to know our child has such eclectic abilities. I miss you and love you so. ~ Mo

Thistlefur said...

Most vital life lesson. (Speak softly and carry a large hammer.) ;)

Those waist-high progeny are so clever...it must be in the genes. ;)

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