Before a bit of cleaning and buffing on the back porch before the storm Hermine:
About fifty or more of them:
Thanks to our friend Brasso:
And then in our den tonight, The Movie, sans two daughters to narrate every last word of it, thank you.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Hinges and Miss C
Still shining cabinet hinges and setting straight some newly painted doors.
Before a bit of cleaning and buffing on the back porch before the storm Hermine:
And after:
Thanks to our friend Brasso:
And then in our den tonight, The Movie, sans two daughters to narrate every last word of it, thank you.
No, thank you, Stan.
Before a bit of cleaning and buffing on the back porch before the storm Hermine:
Thanks to our friend Brasso:
And then in our den tonight, The Movie, sans two daughters to narrate every last word of it, thank you.
2 comments:
"Don't cry for me...Alabama."
"Wear the crown. Be the crown. You are the crown."
"First step: pizza. Second step: flaming batons"
"Happy donut Nazi"
"Ah, hairspray, finally something I recognize."
"My parents don't like anything ostentatious, and they really don't like fire."
"I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide open trap."
See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Look at me, don't I look pretty?"
"It takes a very secure man to walk like that."
"Brownie meeting. Have fun at the mall."
"I once had a girl who rearranged furniture."
"Where will I put my gun?"
"Don't worry, it's nothing embarrassing like baton twirling."
"Excuse me! I am in the middle of my REM cycle!"
"I hear their going for someone newer and younger. I hope it's Ricky Martin."
"I'll just sit here and eat my extra large cheesy pizza while yall spin on your little bicycles."
"It keeps the skirt from riding up"
"Up where?"
"Just up!"
"FRANK!"
"Your hair should make a statement"
"As long as it doesn't say 'thank you for the Country Music Award'!"
"What is the one most important thing that our society needs?"
"That would be harsher punishment for parole violators Stan...and...world peace."
"...from sea to shining sea, like Lady Liberty. She reigns over all she sees, she's beauty and she's grace, she's Miss United States..."
"Can she say that?"
"You got a problem?"
"Don't mess with the dress."
"Why is New Jersey called The Garden State?"
"Because it's too hard to fit The Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State on a licence plate."
"Excuse me. It is not a beauty pageant. It is a scholarship program."
"Solar plexus, instep, nose, groin!"
"Washington, nice apples."
"Come up with that one all by yourself?"
"I once stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mother wouldn't buy them for me. She said they were Satan's panties."
"My teeth! What are you going to do to my teeth!"
"Hopefully remove the beer stains and steak residue."
"Operation Thong has commenced."
"Why don't you stun gun yourself"
"Ha, I knew she'd like that one."
"Hahem."
"Oh, sir, we were just looking for someone to go undercover at the pageant"
"And I'm the best we've got? That doesn't inspire much confidence."
"Just imagine that she is me and there is something that you wanna know but I don't want to talk about. What do you do?"
"You want me to beat it out of her?"
"If I had ever had a daughter, I imagined that she might have been something like you. Which is perhaps why I never reproduced."
"Come on Muffin"
WOW!!! You are truly amazing, girl! Can you use all these lines as part of your talent act when you go for Miss Universe?
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